Back when I was 19, I was not happy with what I had and who I was. I had, usually like most people in my environment, a 9-5 Job and my salary was not the best. Besides that, my girlfriend left me because I lacked in sport abilities. What I want to say is that I felt very uncomfortable in my own body and my life.
I only had one best friend, he was like a brother for me. In bad times he was there for me to talk to and when I had no money, he borrowed me some money. You can see that our relationship was very important for me. Perhaps you can conclude that my social network was not huge at that time. To be honest, I wasn’t very communicative. Communicating with people was an absolute disaster, especially with the opposite gender. After my girlfriend broke up with me, I had huge difficulties meeting new women. Even meeting new friends was a challenge for me.
In summary, I had the following huge problems in my life at that time:
I knew it can’t go on like this, I wanted to change my life to a healthier, more fulfilled and happier version, but I didn’t know how.
I tried going to different seminars of big names like Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Les Brown, Eric Thomas, but there was like a time limit on the power and energy I took from these events. After a couple of days, I was back in my normal life with my normal problems. I also tried reading books, going out to clubs, bars or meetups but nothing worked. I was so miserable at this challenge we call life that I wanted to give up, but then I found this simple principle which changed my life.
I’ve never thought it is that simple to live a happy and fulfilled life. I also remember realizing it for the first time, it was like a bliss for me, coming at the right time. As soon as I understood what the meaning of this beautiful life is, I started feeling my positive emotions. I had that much power that I could supply a whole city with it. My transformation into the good I started from this one day. And it was really a twist that completely changed my life…
But before we talk about my huge AHA moment of my life, we have to talk about my old way (how I went in the right direction, but with false beliefs, a false mindset and with a wrong approach).
Now I will talk about my old way, how I dealt with problems and about my giving up attitude that destroyed my life.
I always thought my savior would come to me and help me overcome my problems. You may know this feeling, hoping for someone to come and change my life to a better. But after a long time waiting, I knew no one will come to save me. The only person who I can rely on saving myself, is me. At this point, I knew I had to take my issues into my own hands. Again, a big learning I had to make which consumed a lot of my time.
I felt extremely unhappy in my job. I hated to get up day after day with the thought that I was working for my boss’s dreams. Every day I woke up with a cloudy face. But I couldn’t do anything in the situation, I had to give in to the situation.
But I didn’t know how to orient myself professionally. Instead of accepting the situation and trying to find solutions, I was building negative emotions for my colleagues and boss. You perhaps know people who have a charisma which is so dark and sad that you don’t want this person in your life. That’s also the reason I had no friends at work. With all the hate and sadness I had, I tried working out in the hope that I will become a little more self-confident.
Without the know-how and without any prior knowledge, I went right into it. For the first 3 months, I trained with my own body weight (so-called Calisthenics or Freeletics). After seeing no results, I switched to the gym for like 4 months. Since I had no workout plan nor any idea of working out, I only did cardio and fat burning activities. Back then, I was always a person who wanted to achieve fast results. A mistake that did cost me a lot of time and money.
Anyway, I worked out like I was preparing for the biggest competition in the world, but somehow I didn’t see any results. I started questioned these non-coming results, I was on social media and searched why I don’t see any results even though I’m working out almost every day. I browsed a little through YouTube, and then I saw a video, which gave another learning.
You can already imagine what it was… it was my NUTRITION and STRUCTURE! I never looked at this from a holistic view. That means, every coin has two sides. Me (the little guy I was) was only focussing on moving, lifting weights and getting my heart rate up. But looking from the other side, I had no clue which other variables I have to consider for a healthy body. I took the learning, but my motivation to working out stopped.
After I stopped doing sports, I dared to search for my future dream woman. For me, being the social incompetent guy I was, it was impossible approaching women. So I started online dating apps. I really don’t know how, but it worked! Yes I know, as implausible as it may seem, I found a very attractive woman. I chatted with her for a while, and then we went out to eat. For the first time after a long period, I had a feeling of success that I will never forget.
I don’t know how to explain it, but whenever I saw her, it triggered a feeling of happiness in me. Finally, I had a good reason why I should not give up so quickly. She enriched my life until I was 23 years old (for 2 years). But then she also broke up with me…
Looking back, I can also see why, I was depressed for a long time and had no motivation to do my activities. I was getting comfortable in the relationship. I didn’t educate myself on financial opportunities, personal health… even my body hygiene started easing up. The following months, I had great opportunities I could take advantage of, but I was so depressed that I just put it aside.
I felt so depressed in the phase that I couldn’t think clearly. Now I will tell you how I lost everything to the end where everything changed. Let’s get started:
Because of the depression I had at the time, my behavior at work worsened. The depression was so extreme that I sometimes called in sick because I just had absolutely no desire to go to work. In addition, I had no nerve for the chatter of my boss, which he would have made, due to my missing days.
But I still went there regularly. But from day to day, my motivation to work decreased. Accordingly, I also worked worse than usual. Sometimes the boss admonished me because the customers weren’t satisfied with my service.
One day the boss called me into his office. He immediately started talking about my missing days and about my inappropriate work style. The way he talked also shocked me, because he has never talked to me like that. It was very aggressive and humiliating.
When I heard the sentence with the termination, I immediately looked at him with wide eyes. When he sent me out, I went home with an even more depressed thought. On the way there, I constantly thought about how it should go on with my future. I literally had fears about my future.
After 2-3 months, I had to give up my apartment because I just didn’t have the money to pay rent. I was forced to move back in with my parents. I never forget the disappointed look on my mother’s face when I told her that I lost my job and had to move in back home.
Since my future used to be unimaginable to me, I tended to drugs – one of the worst things I have done in my life. None of my family knew I was taking drugs, but they learned over time that something was wrong with me.
So I sometimes took drugs, hoping that I would be free of all things and happy for a long period of time. But this did not correspond to the truth. In truth, it destroyed me even further, so I lost contact with my best friend. But we’ll come back to that below.
Anyway, in some days it was even so extreme that I took a large amount of drugs. My father kept telling me to stop taking these substances, but I just didn’t listen to him.
Since I also lived with my parents after I lost my job, my parents did not like the fact that I was taking drugs. You have to imagine that whenever I came home at night, I heard my mother crying in her bedroom. My father tried to comfort her, but she couldn’t stop.
It broke my heart to hear my mother cry because of me. That’s why a lot of thoughtful and sleepless nights followed.
At the same time as my parents found out that I was taking drugs, my best friend also knew that something was wrong with me. He wanted us to meet and go for a walk. I agreed.
So we met in a park and walked a little, it was very reassuring talking to him again. We talked about my problems and how they arose. I didn’t like talking about my issues, but with him, it was different. He was like the person I could talk to about anything. That’s why I liked him so much, he was a very emphatic person.
Anyway, after a long walk, we sat down on a bench and the mood changed instantly. He told me that it can’t go on like this, and that it can harm his own personality if he stays in contact with me. He was completely serious about what he said to me.
Furthermore, he reminded me that he had been telling me since he was a child that he abhors drug addicts. He gave me an ultimatum, I can choose my relationship with him or drugs. He told me to contact him again when I got my life back under control.
After that, I stayed on the bench for a while to make it clear to myself that I destroyed my whole life, I have lost EVERYTHING. I stopped doing sports because of my non-existent assertiveness, my girlfriend broke up with me, my boss fired me, I took drugs, then my best friend, whom I had known for decades, left me.
Everything that can happen in an unhappy life, happened to me!
For months, I speculated about the meaning of life. I often wondered why all this happens to me and why it doesn’t happen to another person. I tried understanding why I’m doing all this bad stuff. For a very long time I didn’t come to a solution, but then I clarified myself.
I did all the bad things because I only focused on the EXTERNAL ISSUES AND WISHES, and I wanted freedom, BUT I didn’t pay attention to something very important. I did not pay attention to my INTERNAL ISSUES AND WISHES.
That was the reason I was not satisfied with myself from the beginning.
Now I will talk about my Journey that started after my enlightenment.
Fear. I was just afraid of everything. I was afraid of rejection, afraid that I would embarrass myself, afraid of my goal and afraid that someone else in my life would leave me. Literally afraid of EVERYTHING.
To realize why I am at this lowest point of my life helped me a lot, BUT I knew that my realization alone wouldn’t get me far in my current situation. Knowledge alone just wouldn’t help me.
When I realized that I was scared of everything, I knew that it could not go on like this anymore. I turned my fear into motivation, and it became the fuel for my change. That means I took that fear and used it as motivation to do things that I love and that no one can judge me for. It costed me a lot of time, but in the end it was definitely worth it.
At the same time as I transformed the fear, my view of the world started shifting. I have started to understand the following things:
And, when I realized these things, my world has completely turned around. My dark perspective about the world slowly disappeared, and a new, brighter perspective entered my life.
Of course, many positive effects came with the realization. I have started to show more gratitude, to be happier, to leave all my past negative moments behind me. Furthermore, I learned how to talk to people normally. The conversations started getting interesting, and because I became a really good listener, people enjoyed talking back to me.
I also made a complete new start with sports, and I spent hours informing myself beforehand. I also designed a training plan for myself. Not only that, but I got a membership at the gym again and made new nice friends there.
When my development to a better life went on for a couple of years, my parents were also extremely pleased with me. I flushed all the drugs down the toilet. It felt like a heavy load fell off my heart. It was like a liberation. So no more days that I have to hear my mother crying.
When I started to change my life for the better, my friends and other acquaintances came to me and asked me about my positive appearance and how I did that transformation from the lowest of my life to the happiest. Some of them even told me about their own problems. Then I realized that I am not the only one dealing with challenges in my life.
When countless problem-stricken people came to me, I made it my mission to influence people positively and to bring their lives into shape. It fulfills me to see what kind of transformation people can make. People who thought their life isn’t worth living anymore transforming to the happiest people I know. That’s why this page was created. Since I have a very difficult time behind me, it suits me perfectly.
One last message: please NEVER give up on your dreams, it will pay off 100%. I will help you, assuming you stay connected on this page. And dare to take risks. All of us only have one life. Don’t ever forget to spend time with your loved ones.
So we are approaching the end, this is my story, I hope you could take a lot here. I thank every single one of you who has decided to read this. And I very hope that you will live a happier life with me.